Mostly a rant with a bit of fangirling thrown in.

Ok, so I know it's not technically Saturday, but I've got time right now, and I'm going to a gathering tomorrow and will probably be so tired when I get home, and I have a feeling this is going to be a long post. Besides, it's going to be Saturday in an hour and a half.

I've had kind of a horrible day. It was my last day of school and we now have a two week holiday, which should make me feel awesome but kind of doesn't, because a) I need to study pretty much all of that time, and b) it means I need to wait two weeks to confront, threaten, and maybe punch certain people.

I found out last thing today that some people in my year have been talking about me behind my back. So this wouldn't bother me very much if what they had been saying wasn't completely untrue. They were pretty much dragging my name through the mud, and while I hadn't really considered us friends, we speak quite often and I'd thought they were decent guys. I guess I was wrong.

So maybe this requires some explanation: a while back I wrote a fanfiction. I cannot stress this enough - it was not smut. It wasn't. It wasn't even remotely explicit. It had a bit of making out in it, I guess, but that was all. Anyway, someone I used to trust knew about my fanfiction account and found it, whereupon she showed it to a group of guys I occasionally speak to on skype, who all go to my school. Of course, they blew the whole thing out of proportion, but it wouldn't have been nearly as bad if she hadn't sent another, very smutty fanfic to them at the same time, and as stuff got passed on and more people found out, someone apparently started to believe, and tell others, that this terribly smutty fic was mine.

And it didn't matter how often I told people it wasn't. It didn't matter one bit.

So now people are talking about me. And it sucks and it's not okay, because as well as claiming I write that kind of stuff (which, by the way, I don't have a problem with other people writing, I think it's totally fine) they're also saying other stuff about me, stuff that is so ridiculously untrue and also damaging to whatever reputation I had.  I'm really sad and angry, because I've been nothing but nice to all of them. I've never said anything mean to them or made up any rumours, so it gets to me. I don't understand, and I need some advice. See, I don't really know what to do about it all. I have to wait two weeks to confront them in person, and I'm not sure what'll happen - I'm not one for confrontation really, and either I will lose my temper and get violent (it can be dangerous, no one's seen my violent side and I'd prefer that it stay that way) or I'll just burst into tears. The latter is more likely.  I don't even know. I feel like I've ignored this kind of stuff too long. I'm tired of it. I sort of want to send one of the guys a facebook message just telling him that I know what he said and that it hurt and it wasn't nice of him, but I feel like he would just tell people about it and that would make it all worse.

This all feels so hideously juvenile. They're all so immature. With every passing day I find myself liking the people at my school less and less, getting more and more frustrated with them. I'd just like them to think about what they say and how it can affect people. I want them to imagine others complexly. I don't understand why they don't feel bad about doing this kind of thing! Ugh.

On a happier note: I have a gathering tomorrow! It should be fun. And also, I'm going to Alex Day's signing in Edinburgh, and I'm super excited. I've already met him once, at a trock night in Glasgow, and he was really lovely. My fangirl side is emerging, I'm afraid, and I've gone as far as trying on different outfits and thinking about what the best options are for different weather scenarios. I have precious little life, clearly.

And now, onto the subject of religion:
I like to think that I'm very open minded. Recently I had a bit of an existential crisis and swung away from a sort of Christian faith to a kind of Christian-leaning agnostic state. Basically, I would like to believe in a God but I'm struggling a lot right now. I don't know what I believe, really.

Other people's beliefs have never really troubled me. I don't care what religions my friends subscribe too. I don't mind religion and I don't mind atheism, what I do mind is pushiness and closed-mindedness. I know a lot of pushy atheists: I'm right and you're stupid for believing what you do. Like, seriously? Also, religious fundamentalists, the kind who believe the same as the arrogant atheist types, but in reverse.

I don't get it. Live and let live. Different people believe different things. It's something I like talking about, I like hearing about what other people believe and why, and how they keep their faith, but you can only have this kind of discussion with certain people, while the closed-minded ruin it with scoffing and insults and stuff.

I feel like a lot of people who have that kind of mindset are the same kind of people who will decide whether or not they like someone purely based on one aspect of them. Like, they will decide they hate all Christians because of their predetermined notions about them. But it's ridiculous: you wouldn't say, I'm friends with that person because they're a Christian, it's more like, I'm friends with that person, and they're also a Christian.

So basically what I'm saying is: I totally respect everyone's right to believe what they want, but I don't like being told flat out that I, or anyone else, is wrong, nor do I like people insistently trying to convince me that they are right. Okay, that's all. I've quite enjoyed this, and have so far agreed with everything you guys have been saying.

I desperately hope I haven't offended anyone or anything.
I hope you're all doing good! You're excellent!
~Julia x

Presentations and Other Equally Tiring Things

Ah, I'm SO happy today is over. I had yet another busy week. What a surprise. I also had a dermatologist appointment and violin lessons today. I'll get into detail about each thing later. I also had a huge project that I did in French today. That's what I want to talk about first.

So we had a how-to speech to present and it had to be at least five minutes. I decided to teach everyone how to do yoga, since that's about the only thing fun I can teach. Well, I dreaded having to present because I usually get terrible stage fright. I tremble, my heart is pounding, my mouth it dry, and all that good stuff. But last night as I was stressing out over it, my mama sat down with me, and we had a huge talk. She put everything into perspective for me! I totally calmed down afterwards and was able to sleep peacefully.

If I started getting nervous, I would just remember what my mom told me. When time came to present, I was a little jittery, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. It went by smoothly and I got a perfect score! YAY!

So after school, I headed straight to the dermatologist. I used to have pretty bad acne, and I went on medication for it, but now I just go to get face treatments every two weeks. I love going, because it's my time to relax while Mrs. Rebecca shoots my face with lasers. Sounds awesome, right y'all? My face was a little sore afterwards because she kicked up the power level since I'm highly tolerant of pain.

Then right after that, I went to violin. I hardly had the chance to practice this week, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. I may have shouted in frustration a couple times, though. I did awesome on the sight reading, which was rare. It also reminded me that I need to cut my nails.

Afterwards, my mother took me out to dinner at this Asian restaurant as celebration for my French project. That was an enjoyable dinner. We were able to just relax and talk. It really felt like Friday today, but alas. Just one more day. We just have to push through.

As for Alix, I'm so happy you brought up religion. I was thinking about talking about that! I definitely combine science and religion. I love both topics dearly. I always feel angry when people never think about science with religion. I mean, if God is all-knowing, surely he's good at science? Just saying. Now I'm not a super-Christian or anything, but I am very religious in my own way. Not a day goes by that I don't pray. But I'm also very open to other religions and find them all beautiful and apart of God. I try not to judge like so many Christians do, but say they don't. Ugh.

I wish I could talk more, but I'm really tired. I invested all of my energy into today and I am worn out. Good night you guys.

Lots of Love,
~Emily~

A rant, but a point I've been dying to make

Hey guys,

Right I’m at my boyfriends house so this will probarbly be short. It doesn’t seem far to be typing away on his computer without him.

So it seems like you’ve all had exams and things. Mine are done in January and June so I have a little time till my next lot, although they will be my biggest yet and mean the difference between getting the university I want and the one I am ‘ok-to-attend’.

But there is something that’s come up a lot recently, something I want to talk about without sparking the usual debate it causes. I don’t want to insult anyone and I don’t know you’re opinions on it but I thought I’d just get some of my point off my chest.

Religion vs Atheism.

Now, I would say that I personally have faith, I believe there’s more to this world then just what’s here. But I have a lot of belief in science too. My general, condensed version is; for me, God started the big bang and then has guided evolution.

Now, in my Biology class, this makes me a bit of a freak. In fact, one guy has proceeded to call me a Schizophrenic person who talks to a ‘mythological’ creature in the sky. Some are more tolerant but he’s the main reason that I bring this up.

I can fight for both sides of the debate of God and Science, but because of faith in the former I get automatically labelled into the religion camp, even though I am really not a fan of the layout, hierarchy and overall selectiveness that religion brings.

A lot of my friends are Atheists and I have no problem until they tell me ‘You’re wrong’ and then don’t try to make a logical argument against me. I hate that.

Anyway, sorry this is becoming a rant. Its just this has come up a lot. And while I can usually just leave it and walk away, because of it being in a class, I’ve had to endure it and try not to lunge over my desk to swot him.

If you guys want to talk about this you can, but like I said, I don’t know your opinions and you might agree with the guy in my class. In which case, I’m sorry and I’m sorry if I’ve brought up anything that is a touchy subject for anyone. I just don’t see why people can’t say “I disagree with you, but you’re still the same person you were before this debate started.”

Hope you are all ok and look forward to hearing from you all.

Alix

My class is screwed for life...

Hello! Sorry about last week, I remembered right as i was crawling into bed. :/ But thats because I've started track. I'm 99.9% shure everyone knows what track is so I won't explain. I'm a distance runner and I just ran a 7:17 mile that I am very proud of. WOOT! But track as taken over my life so I've been eating, sleeping, going to school then track then going on the computer. Such a fun life.
I realy want to talk about the hunger games so I'm going to ask if you have all seen it before I start picking it apart, cause i unfortuenly do that.
About the title. Teachers and my school district have got to understand that my generation dosn't care about stuff like we should. They yell at us to do better at school and to do our homewrok. (We should do it but now adays, we don't care) They also don't jump on the ball with stuff, last week a few cell phones where stolen from track and the coach didn't do anything about it at first. Idiot. Also in my school several kids are on there way out. I'm just in 9th grade and a kid has gotten suspended. Now I like to think I live in a nice area, or thats what my parents told me what the case was when we moved here. Now a days, kids have been busted for drugs, drinking and all sorts of other stuff.
With all of this going on most kids need a good education in order to do anything in this life. even your basic jobs need some sort of education. So needless to say, my classmates are screwed.
Anyone else have school districts like that or am i the only one???? I'm tierd, goodnight!
-Sam I am

Things have been happening, but they're not very exciting.

Exaaaams.

I woke up this morning tired beyond belief, so tired in fact that I couldn't remember how to turn my alarm clock off. So I'm just hitting it and begging it to shut up and it's just beeping merrily away. Eventually I unplugged it, rolled over and went right back to sleep. When I woke up again, I remembered where the button to turn it off was and mentally cursed myself.

You see, last night I went to see the Hunger Games with a group of forty or fifty nerdfighters which, yes, was just as awesome as it sounds. And the movie itself was unbelievable. So good. I read the book way back when it first came out, totally by chance. I just picked it up in a bookstore, read it in a day, loved it, then promptly forgot about it. Then everyone started fangirling over it and I was like, hey I've read that! So I happily joined in. And now here we are.

Anyway, fun and games aside, I have two exams next week, Latin and maths. I'm feeling okay about the Latin, not so much the maths. The maths course was going okay until about two weeks ago. It seems like all I do in class now is stare at my teacher and wonder what the hell she's saying, and think what is this dark magic? 

My wonderful, amazing plan involved studying all day today, but it was unseasonably warm, and since I live in Scotland and therefore spend most of my time wrapped up in jackets and scarves, I decided that I simply had to go outside. I'm a big fan of walks, so I ended up going out for about an hour and a half. I live in the country, near a river, so I went down the footpath next to it and walked for a bit. You eventually come to this place - there's a raised wooden platform to walk on, like a bridge, but if you jump down onto the kind of marshy land and walk away from the path you eventually get to this sandy place, right next to the river. Someone put up a swing there, and there's a bench, too, and it's really peaceful and beautiful. I found this place a few months ago when I was out walking. It's about forty minutes to get there and then forty minutes back, but it's totally worth it.

While I was out I kept passing all these serious-looking hikers in their waterproof, fleece-lined jackets and their walking boots, and there I was in a t-shit and converse and a cute little floral skirt. I haven't been able to wear a skirt without warm, woollen tights for months. It was entirely warm enough today, I don't know why everyone was looking at me so strangely. The way they were glaring, you'd have thought I'd killed someone or something.

When I got back I sat and studied outside for an hour and a half and ate Haribo (which apparently you don't have in America? How do you survive? I remember giving some Haribo Tangfastics to two American girls at camp, and their faces. They said I should've warned them how sour they were. I didn't think, I'm just so used to it) and then I studied a bit more at night. Oh! And I also wrote a song about the Hunger Games and uploaded it to my channel, so that was productive, I guess. 

It was a nice day but now I have a lot to do tomorrow. Further Calculus and the wave function make me want to break things and slam my head against walls. 

Wish me luck!

~Julia x 

Busy, busy, busy.

As the title says, it has been a tiring week for me. Jumping back into school right after spring break is no easy feat, and I certainly felt the effects of it. It takes everything I can to just somewhat pay attention in class, especially Anatomy. It doesn't help we're studying the oh-so complicated nervous system. It wasn't until today that stuff we learned on Monday started to click. Yeah.

Plus, the week is graduation exam week. Graduation exams are mostly taken by sophomores (like moi) and if you pass, you graduate. If you fail, you keep taking it in hopes you pass before everyone else graduates without you. I had to take 3 out of 5 (the other 2 I passed as a freshman). My last one is tomorrow, and to make things worse, it's the history one...yay. I don't remember a damn thing from my history class, but here goes nothing!

And I have a speech to write for French, as well as an essay, which I really should start on this weekend...considering they're due next week...Eh, I'll finish them sooner or later.

Oh, and you know about my violin complications? Well, I'm even more confused because I enjoyed my classes last week! My teacher was LAUGHING AND BEING HAPPY. What the hell? And to make matters worse, I went to my favorite music store (it's this super awesome log cabin place, and everyone is ultra chill and awesome there) to buy some sheet music and asked about their violin teacher. It turns out, he's classically trained by a famous violinist and has received AWARDS for his performing. And get this: everyone loves him! My head was spinning when I left the store.

So I just had a good class, but this awesome guy sounds, well, awesome. I'm still confused about the whole situation, but I have a vague idea of what'll happen. I'll stick with my current teacher until the end of this semester. If she gets her act together by summer, I'll stay. If I'm not happy, I'll give awesome guy a try. Oh, trop de drame! Thanks for the advice, you guys. It did help.

As for old trends I still like, I am an avid cd user. I have a huge collection that I'm keeping forever. I prefer flip phones over touch screen phones.I'll wear just about anything you see on The Golden Girls. I can't think of anything else off the top of my head because I'm pretty tired. Well, I'm off to bed, then. Night.

Lots of Love,
~Emily~

I had an interview!

Hey guys,

I’ve had a pretty good week since last Wednesday.

Sunday was Mother’s day here and me and my sister cooked my mum a 3 course meal. Prawn Cocktail, Steak and then an Eton Mess with pieces of shortbread in. It was actually quite fun. Not that I like cooking but for special occasions I like pushing the boat out.

Also  I had a job interview yesterday. The interview seemed to like me and I have a trail shift tomorrow for a couple of hours to try it out. It would be lovely to get a job before university, if only for the experience I can put on my CV when I am there. Of course the money would be nice too as a last panic pot to dip into.

This is going to be short, I have loads of coursework and other things to do before we come off school for Easter break in a couple weeks.

Emily: I’m not great at advice, but I’ll give my two cents. If you think that it might be something going on in her life that might be making her less motivating then it might be worth trying to stick it out. However if you really think she’s given all she can give it might be worth moving on. After all a teacher is supposed to try and push students and if you’re not getting this, but you want it, then seek it out.

Anyway, hope it all goes well and hope everyone else is well.

Alix

Lovely Day

So, I've had a lovely day.

I got up at seven AM, which wasn't very lovely, and then I had a music theory exam, also not so lovely. I don't know how well it went, really. I thought it was okay, but I thought that the last time and ended up failing miserably.

Anyway, then the loveliness started. I went to a youtube gathering! We all met up in George Square in Glasgow, and hung out there for a bit, and then we moved into a shopping centre food court for lunch. It was really nice to meet new people/catch up with people I'd met at previous gatherings. After lunch, we headed to Glasgow Green, where we sat on some picnic benches and made Free Hugs signs and laughed and quoted ASDF movie and generally had a good time. Following that, we set off, wielding our signs, into Glasgow's main shopping street, where we offered hugs to random strangers and made a lot of people either a) very happy or b) very uncomfortable.

Some people started to drift away after that, and when there weren't many people left I turned to the group I'd been standing with and suggested we all go to dinner. The great thing about having gatherings in Glasgow is that trains leave there for my nearest station every half our at least, and usually faster, so I don't have to worry about leaving at a certain time. It meant I was super relaxed and could stay out later than usual. Five of us wandered down the street, hit Waterstone's to look for nerdfighter notes (we didn't find any, but we did find an actual Nerdfighter and hugged some more strangers), then went to Pizza Hut for food. It was really nice, just sitting, chatting. It was really comfortable and it's so good to be able to make Doctor Who references and see people understand them. It was like being among friends. After that, I got the train home with another Nerdfighter who's been at pretty much every gathering I've been too, and is a fantastic fellow, and now I'm in bed, exhausted, but happy.

So yeah. Lovely day.

Oh! I also made a Mother's Day card for my mum. I had pictured it being nicer, but it seems I overestimated my craft skills somewhat...

Okay, our topic for this week was outdated trends that we still love! I don't know if it really counts as a trend, but I like a lot of late nineties type, indie-kid stuff. I wear my denim dress all the time, with woollen tights and converse and big cardigans in the winter, and I'm in love with my giant, colourful, striped jumper, which I call my childrens'-TV-presenter-from-the-nineties jumper.

Also, I don't know if this is a trend exactly, but I buy most of my music on vinyl. And it's not really because I think it sounds better (though it does), or because I like owning physical music (though I do, but CDs sort of count as that as well), it's mostly the superficial stuff. I like record sleeves. I like the cover art. I like that inside you get song lyrics, or information about the band, or pictures of the band on tour. And most of all, I like the free posters.

Emily: if you're not enjoying your violin lessons as they are, I think you should find a new teacher. I know how much of a drag it can be to keep doing something just because you feel obligated to. But it's totally not worth it. Your decision, but that's what I would do.

Ok, I'm very, very tired, so I'm going to sleep.
Happy St Patrick's day, one and all!
~Julia x

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm SORRY!

I can't believe I skipped TWO Thursdays in a row, you guys! I don't even have an excuse, I've just forgotten. Ugh. I'm sorry. I have pictures to compensate Forgive me? I'll just fill y'all in.

So, we had MORE tornadoes down in Alabama. Gee, what a surprise there. They were during school, too, so we were all stuck sitting in the hallways. My friends from Anatomy and I all sat together and read Dr. Seuss books to each other/cuddled/made dirty jokes/went through a whole pack of gum. It was fun.

That next week, I went to Panama City Beach. We had to wake up at like, 4 in the morning to leave. Ew. But we made it there just after noon, so I guess getting up early paid off! And you guys, I have never--I mean ever--seen a family eat so unhealthily in my life. I was so disgusted (and ashamed to be American) that I took off to the nearest grocery store and bought a bag of apples, a bag of lettuce, salad dressing, and a can of healthy tomato soup. Yum. Needless to say, I'm shocked that they're not morbidly obese by now.

We spent a good chunk of time laying out on the beach. I did play badminton with Skylar, my best friend's adorable little sister. It was windy, but we had so much fun that we didn't care. We also did a huge amount of shopping, which made my inner girly self oh-so delighted. Each night before I went to bed, I would call my mama and tell her about my day. This would last anywhere from twenty minutes to an hour. Then I would pass out in like, five minutes.

Here are some pictures.

The view from our condo!

My lame amateur attempt at being a photographer.

Uh, more beach, I guess.

I also went to see Michael Flatley's Lord of the Dance. It was good, but not authentic Irish dancing, you know? And a little TOO showy for my taste, I just wanted to see good ol' Irish dancing. Oh well, I still bought the t-shirt. That means they did something right.

And I had a violin lesson today. I must say, I'm not looking forward to them as much, which isn't good since that makes me less motivated to practice. It's just that my teacher never seems to be happy, and that makes me sad! I don't want to stop seeing her just because of that, but I'm not sure. I want someone who can really motivate me and make me WANT to keep playing, isn't that alright?

So here I am, asking for advice, because I like you guys. Should I stick it out with this teacher or start looking around for another one?

I'm going to go now. See ya!

Lots of Love,
~Emily~

Trends and exam results

So hey guys,

I got me results back last week from my college exams. I got As in two and a D and an E. So I’m re-sitting the latter and hoping the D doesn’t effect me too badly later on.

Samantha asked us what trends we liked even though they were outdated. I’m not sure what constitutes a trend but I’ll go with things I like that I consider outdated.

80s make up. I love it; the bright colours, the bold designs. Things along the lines of this.

And this

I would wear make up like this everyday if I had the time and skills to do it properly. I got a pallete of 100 colour a while back and it was filled with wonderful colours so I have tried out similar looks.

I also am still very much still into the trend of motown. I get this from my Mother. But you should all go listen to a little piece called “The Onion Song”. The second it starts playing my sister and me crack the bigger smile ever.

And lastly, the trends of “Sex and the City” and “Friends”. I realise their days have been had and most people have gotten over them now. But I still love to catch them or even record them on TV to watch.

Apart from that I don’t really get into trends. I just go with what I like regardless of if others like it or not.

So, I will leave you all to your days. Hope to hear from you all soon.

Bye

Alix